The Thirteenth Hat (28/1/12) DVD Review By Adam Timmins

Posted: December 30, 2012 in Uncategorized

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At the start of the disc, Ultramantis Black and Hallowicked are walking down a cave covered train track with the Eye of Tyr. Delirious emerges from the other end of said cave. Mantis tells Delirious he is free from the shackles of the BDK, but Delirious grabs the EOT, smashes it, and runs off, saying “I remember everything” in a relatively normal voice. Quick, block that tunnel up before he can book anymore ROH shows!

Mike Quackenbush vs. Green Antthese two had a couple of mat based crackers in 2011, and blow me if they don’t have another one here. You’ll see holds in this one that you’ve never seen before; unless your name’s Dean Malenko I suppose. Green Ant follows up his win at High Noon over Tursas with an equally big victory here, forcing Quack to tap out to the Chikara Special: Green at 10.09.

 Dasher Hatfield introduces his ‘step-cousin-in-law’ to Chikara, “Mr Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti, who cuts a brief promo. He’s going to be a heel jock by the sound of it, and the gimmick looks promising.

Kobald vs. Jigsaw – hmm, this one wasn’t much to shout about, mainly due to the fact that Kobald is a long way from being the finished article at this point. Jigsaw superkicks him for the win at 8.30. 

Gran Akuma vs. Icarus – Icarus appears to be taking training tips from Vin Gerard based on how doughy he is. Considering this is supposed to be a grudge feud, the match starts with a waistlock takedown? Hmmm. Gran Akuma wins via count-out at 4.35. Gregory Iron comes out and gives Akuma the Gimp Slap. I can’t say I’m thrilled about Iron being in the middle of this feud to be honest.

Jacob Hammermeir & Tim Donst vs. 3.0 – well, this was pretty much the definition of a perfunctory match. 3.0 did their comedy, the BDK cheated for a bit, 3.0 pick up the win with TSTOP on Hammermeir at 9.08.

Archibald Peck vs. Hallowicked – Veronica is not best pleased with Peck’s recent losing streak going into this match. The show gets back on track with two of Chikara’s dependable talents. Peck was desperate for the win, but Hallowicked reversed a prawn roll attempt at 12.02 to get the victory. Veronica storms off to the back afterwards.

Ophidian vs. Hieracon – it’s very rare Chikara commits a booking gaffe, but here was one. Bringing Hieracon in one last time to put Ophidian over? Fine and dandy. But the match went nearly twenty minutes and bored everyone to the point where they popped big-time for Ophidian’s win; hardly the response you want for your promotions new heel. A shame, as portions of this match were really crisp, and you sense they could have had a belting ten minute match. But the number of forearm exchanges tells you all you need to know about this one. Ophidian locks in a Cattle-Mutilation Cobra-Clutch to put everyone out of their misery at 19.57.

Gavin Loudspeaker is about to announce the main event when Vin Gerard runs in and barrels him out of the ring. Kingston comes out for some, but they’re separated by Wrestlefactory students. Gerard decks one of them, and gets rushed out of the building. Kingston asks Wink to reinstate Gerard, but he says no. Kingston gets hold of him by his tie, but Jigsaw comes out and calms him down.

The Batiri vs. Soldier Ant & Fire Ant – well, this was a bizarre bout. The match itself was quite good, but it was completely overshadowed by a small child wearing a Superman top. Around five minutes in the crowd starting chanting “Superman”, and kept it up on and off for the rest of the match. A shame, as it took away from the match, which was an enjoyable main event. Fire Ant hits the Beach Break on Obariyon at 16.31. After the three count you can see Bryce telling Fire Ant to bring Superman kid in the ring, which he does. Only in Chikara.

Overall – a rare clunker from Chikara. They put the Quack vs. Green Ant match up on YouTube for free, so there’s really no reason to get this show I’m afraid.

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