CHIKARA I’ll Be a Mummy’s Uncle (14/4/12) DVD Review By Adam Timmins

Posted: May 11, 2013 in Uncategorized
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Ophidian vs. Ultramantis Black – A fun, fast-paced opener to kick off the Ultramantis vs. Ophidian feud. Ophidian retrieves Ultramantis’ staff (which he nicked at It’s How You Play The Game), then blows black mist in the latter’s face while the referee is distracted. Ophidian gets the pin via roll-up at 5.15. 

Saturyne vs. Kobald – I’m really big on Saturyne, I think she has a ton of potential, she just needs to get matches under her belt. Kobald meanwhile, hasn’t exactly come on in leaps and bounds over the past twelve months, he still needs a bit of work. As with the opener, a solid little five minute match ends with Kobald hitting the Demon’s Toilet for the win at 4.38.

The Bravado Brothers vs. S.A.T vs. Johnny Gargano & Chuck Taylor vs. QT Marshall & Jack Bonza – I can’t get over how fat Joel Maximo has gotten since the S.A.T’s heyday. Marshall and Bonza make their debuts here after impressing on a recent Wrestling is Fun card. This also marks the Bravado’s first Chikara appearance since their NOAH run. A solid four-way tag affair, the main purpose of which was to get F.I.S.T. back in the title hunt after Gargano’s back injury meant they had to drop the belts. Taylor rolls up Will Maximo with a handful of tights to take the first fall at 7.09; the Bravado’s hits the Gentleman’s Approach on Bonza, only for F.I.S.T. to shove them out of the ring and steal the second fall at 8.45; finally, they dispatch the Bravado’s with the Wheelbarrow DDT/ Hurts Donut combo at 11.31. 

Mixed Martial Archie vs. Mr Touchdown – MMA is of course, Archibald Peck, who is getting serious with Mr Touchdown after the Veronica keeps showing interest in the latter. MMA batters Angelosetti, before locking in a guillotine choke that lasts so long Bryce and Dasher both fall asleep (although Touchdown doesn’t give up). Touchdown then goes to lock up, only for Archie to inform him that the round is over. Dasher gets thrown out by Bryce for protesting this, and kicks baseball dirt on him. They wrestle for a bit, then Veronica comes out to make eyes at Touchdown. Archie goes ballistic, and batters Mr Touchdown, forcing Bryce to call for the DQ at 10.26. The great thing about this match is that although it was as funny as fuck, it still advanced the Touchdown vs. Peck feud. Veronica has played a blinder as a lovestruck valet; Touchdown looks the business, while Peck is one of the best things in wrestling at the moment. Barring a booking catastrophe, there’s no way this feud can disappoint.

Jigsaw vs. Tim Donst – These two wrestled at Clutch of Doom last year; but Sabato was the referee, and Donst won in two minutes. Obviously this was a much more competitive outing, and very cleverly booked: given that Donst is getting a push at the moment everyone was expecting him to go over, so Jigsaw kicking out of everything Donst threw at him was a pleasant surprise. Donst kicked out of the Jig ‘n’ Tonic; but Jigsaw hit the second rope brainbuster for the win at 13.49. For me the jury’s still out on Donst; this was a very good match, but then it’s very rare Jigsaw doesn’t get good matches out of people. 

Jacob Hammermier vs. Dragonfly – Yes, this is the Dragonfly the Chikara original, who recently made a comeback after an absence from wrestling. Not much of a Chikara return though, as Hammermeir rolls up with his feet on the ropes at 2.14. Fairly pointless. 

Gregory Iron vs. Gran Akuma – Gran Akuma Trial Series #2 – Enough already with Greg Iron, seriously. I have nothing but admiration for what he’s achieved; but it’s impossible to suspend disbelief for his matches. Icarus is the guest timekeeper for this match, and if Akuma loses, he’s out of Chikara (again). After five minutes of mediocre action, Akuma knocks out the ref accidentally, and Icarus runs in and lamps him with a chain. Iron won’t make the cover though, so Icarus smacks him too. Iron kicks out of the Tenchi Crash; but Akuma gives him three consecutive powerbombs to get the win at 6.47. It’s obvious they want to save the first proper Akuma vs. Icarus match for iPPV; but they’ve got to find a better way to kill time until then, as this trial series is awful. 

Sara Del Rey vs. Kodama – Speaking of booking complaints, given the year Sara Del Rey had in 2011, she really deserves better than a mid-card feud with the Batiri. A by-the-numbers match in which the other Batiri members cheat their arses off on the outside; but Sara manages to inside-cradle Kodama for the pin at 7.53. Kevin Ford wrote in his review of this show that this feud is dragging Del Rey down rather than bringing the Batiri up, and I’m inclined to agree. 

The Colony & Eddie Kingston vs. 17, The Shard, combatANT & assailANT – A solid Atomicos match to main event the show. Quack was really good on commentary in getting over a lot of the stuff concerning Gekido (but then again, he ought to be, having booked the angle), with regards to The Shard mirroring Jigsaw and 17 taking off Quack. Soldier Ant has assailANT beat at one point with the TKO; but tries to take his mask off instead of going for the pin. CombatANT hits him with the saluting forearm and TKO for the victory at 15.49. 

There’s a couple of noteworthy promos that bookend the DVD: 17 explains that while Quack may have mastered 1,000 holds, he has perfected 17 forgotten ones, which are all he needs to put people on the shelf. AssailANT promises to expose Chikara’s squeaky clean image as a sham; and finally, Kevin Steen cuts a promo to set up his match with Eddie Kingston at Hot off the Griddle.

Overall – a really good show from a Chikara fan’s perspective in terms of fun matches and storylines; but if you don’t follow Chikara, there’s nothing here that will trouble the MOTY lists.

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